The Dining Philosophers

🌸 ☀️ 🍂 ☃️

Aristotle:

1. Exclaim “I don’t think that fact is true.”
2. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.

Bacon:

1. Exclaim “This wiener schnitzel is insufficiently seasoned!”
2. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
3. Season your food.
4. While your food is being seasoned, grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations dllUffddLuL. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
5. Pass the salt shaker to Foucault.
6. Taste your food. Exclaim “Oh no, I have failed in adequately seasoning my wiener schnitzel!”. Do not eat any more of your wiener schnitzel.

Confucius:

1. Exclaim “Fun fact: wiener schnitzel is named after famous philosopher Norbert Wiener.”
2. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.

Descartes:

1. Exclaim “I hear that is because the chef insists on sorting all the courses on their menu alphabetically.”
2. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.

Epicurus:

1. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.
2. Exclaim “This wiener schnitzel was acceptable, but a little boring. I hope future courses appeal more to my Epicurean palate.”

Foucault:

1. Exclaim “I wish this wiener schnitzel had more salt, could someone please pass me the salt?”
2. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
3. Season your food.
4. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations RDbUlubDRBrd. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
5. Return the salt shaker to the center of the table.
6. Taste your food. Exclaim “There is now too much salt on my wiener schnitzel!”. Do not eat any more of your wiener schnitzel.

Godel:

1. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.
2. Exclaim “Isn’t it strange how the next course is butter cookies? Shouldn’t dessert be at the end of the meal?”

Hypatia:

1. Eat the delicious wiener schnitzel in front of you.
2. Exclaim “But ‘butter cookies’ comes before ‘wiener schnitzel’ alphabetically!”

Aristotle:

1. Exclaim “I want exactly 100 cookies!”
2. Wait for someone to pass you the salt shaker.
3. Count the number of cookies on your plate. If there are not exactly 100 cookies on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Pass the salt shaker to Bacon.

Bacon:

1. Exclaim “I want exactly 100 cookies!”
2. Wait for someone to pass you the salt shaker.
3. Count the number of cookies on your plate. If there are not exactly 100 cookies on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Pass the salt shaker to Godel.

Confucius:

1. It is very important that Aristotle and Bacon have the same number of cookies! Take the salt shaker from the center of the table. Add cookies onto Bacon’s plate until Bacon has the same number of cookies as Aristotle. Then return the salt shaker to the center of the table.
2. Repeat instruction 1.
3. Repeat instruction 1.
4. Repeat instruction 1.
5. Repeat instruction 1.

Descartes:

1. Oh no, Aristotle doesn’t have enough cookies! Take the salt shaker from the center of the table. Add 1000 cookies to Aristotle’s plate. Return the salt shaker to the center of the table.
2. Repeat instruction 1.
3. Repeat instruction 1.
4. Repeat instruction 1.
5. Repeat instruction 1.

Epicurus:

1. Oh no, Aristotle has too many cookies! Take the salt shaker from the center of the table. Wait for Aristotle to have more cookies than Bacon. Eat cookies from Aristotle’s plate until Aristotle has at most 3 more cookies than Bacon. (If Aristotle starts with fewer than 3 more cookies than Bacon, do nothing). Return the salt shaker to the center of the table.
2. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 14.
3. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 20.
4. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 11.
5. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 17.
6. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 4.
7. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 25.
8. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 10.
9. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 17.
10. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 28.
11. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
12. Pass the salt to Foucault.

Foucault:

1. Oh no, Aristotle has too many cookies! Take the salt shaker from the center of the table. Wait for Aristotle to have more cookies than Bacon. Eat cookies from Aristotle’s plate until Aristotle has at most 18 more cookies than Bacon. (If Aristotle starts with fewer than 18 more cookies than Bacon, do nothing). Return the salt shaker to the center of the table.
2. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 27.
3. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 21.
4. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 30.
5. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 12.
6. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 19.
7. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 8.
8. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 27.
9. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 30.
10. Repeat instruction 1, but with the bolded number replaced by 10.
11. Wait for someone to pass you the salt shaker.
12. Pass the salt to Aristotle.

Godel:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt shaker.
2. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 50 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Confucius.
3. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 49 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Descartes.
4. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 48 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Epicurus.
5. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 47 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Foucault.
6. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 46 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Godel.
7. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 45 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Aristotle and Hypatia.
8. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 44 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Confucius.
9. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 43 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Descartes.
10. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 42 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Epicurus.
11. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 41 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Foucault.
12. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 40 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Godel.
13. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 39 cookies on the plates in front of them, swap the plates of Bacon and Hypatia.
14. Pass the salt shaker to Hypatia.

Hypatia:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt shaker.
2. Take the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table.
3. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 75 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations UdfLbrufLuB.
4. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 74 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations uBrBRUUlBB.
5. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 73 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations UUrBulUFDRD.
6. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 72 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations llddBlURfD.
7. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 71 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations blDfrubUrBB.
8. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 70 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations FFRlDlldff.
9. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 69 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations FBULurbuRFL.
10. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 68 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations uBrFBUldfr.
11. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 67 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations FdluBRURLDR.
12. If Aristotle and Bacon ever simultaneously both had exactly 66 cookies on the plates in front of them, perform the sequence of operations LULdBDfRDb.
13. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
14. Return the salt shaker to the center of the table.

Aristotle:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lffruu. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
3. Pass the salt to Foucault.
4. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
8. Pick up the dining table and rotate it 1 position counter-clockwise (so that you are now facing the plate that was just in front of Bacon).
9. Pass the salt to Hypatia.

Bacon:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Pass the salt to Descartes.
3. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
4. Pass the salt to Aristotle.
5. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
6. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
7. Pick up the dining table and rotate it 1 position clockwise (so that you are now facing the plate that was just in front of Aristotle).
8. Pass the salt to Godel.

Confucius:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations ubbDfB. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
3. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
4. Pass the salt to Hypatia.

Descartes:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
3. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Epicurus:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Pass the salt to Godel.
3. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
4. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
5. Pick up the dining table and rotate it 1 position clockwise (so that you are now facing the plate that was just in front of Descartes).
6. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Foucault:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. Pass the salt to Bacon.
3. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
4. If there is any ratatouille on the plate in front of you, eat it.
5. Pick up the dining table and rotate it 1 position clockwise (so that you are now facing the plate that was just in front of Epicurus).
6. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Godel:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations rbDUrr. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
3. Pass the salt to Foucault.
4. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Hypatia:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations frfdu. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
3. Pass the salt to Aristotle.
4. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
5. Pass the salt to Epicurus.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Pass the salt to Bacon.

Aristotle:

1. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Pass the pot to Confucius.
4. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
5. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
6. Pass the pot to Bacon.
7. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Epicurus’ bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Bacon:

1. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Pass the pot to Confucius.
4. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Foucault’s bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Confucius:

1. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Pass the pot to Descartes.
4. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
5. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
6. Return the pot to the center of the table.
7. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
8. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
9. Pass the pot to Descartes.
10. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Godel’s bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Descartes:

1. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lFLUluFu. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Pass the pot to Epicurus.
5. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
6. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
7. Return the pot to the center of the table.
8. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Hypatia’s bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Epicurus:

1. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations FbUBlFul. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Pass the pot to Godel.
5. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Hypatia’s bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Foucault:

1. Take a pot of goulash from the center of the table.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Pass the pot to Godel.
4. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Epicurus’ bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Godel:

1. Take a pot of goulash from the center of the table.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Pass the pot to Aristotle.
4. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
5. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
6. Pass the pot to Hypatia.
7. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
8. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
9. Return the pot to the center of the table.
10. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Confucius’ bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Hypatia:

1. Take a pot of goulash from the center of the table.
2. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations fflluubl. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Pass the pot to Confucius.
5. Wait for someone to pass you a pot of goulash.
6. If the pot is empty, flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!” Otherwise, serve yourself 1L of goulash out of this pot.
7. Pass the pot to Aristotle.
8. If your bowl contains goulash that has been in the same pot as some goulash in Descartes’ bowl, eat all of your goulash.

Aristotle:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. Swap your plate with Bacon’s plate.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations uFLRbD. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
5. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
6. Swap your plate with Bacon’s plate.
7. Pass the salt to Epicurus.

Bacon:

1. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap your plate with Confucius’ plate.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations LddRff. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
5. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
6. Swap your plate with Confucius’ plate.
7. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Confucius:

1. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap your plate with Descartes’ plate.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lrbbdL. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Pass the salt to Aristotle.

Descartes:

1. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap your plate with Epicurus’ plate.
3. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations uFdULf. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
4. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Epicurus:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. Swap your plate with Foucault’s plate.
3. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
4. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
5. Swap your plate with Foucault’s plate.
6. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Foucault:

1. Grab the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If any philosopher has more pieces of soda bread than a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after them, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
3. Pass the salt to Godel.

Godel:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. Swapping plates is bad! Throw out all the soda bread on any plate that was swapped at any point in the past.
3. You’re really more of a mathematician than a philosopher, so let’s do some math. At any point in time, define the Godel number of this table to be 1 × (the number of pieces of soda bread on Aristotle’s plate) + 4 × (the number of pieces of soda bread on Bacon’s plate) + 9 × (the number of pieces of soda bread on Confucius’ plate) + … + 64 × (the number of pieces of soda bread on Hypatia’s plate).
4. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1242, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Aristotle.
5. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1243, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Bacon.
6. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1244, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Confucius.
7. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1245, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Descartes.
8. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1246, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Epicurus.
9. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1247, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Foucault.
10. Pass the salt to Hypatia.

Hypatia:

1. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
2. This Godel number concept seems pretty nifty. Let’s do some plate swapping.
3. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1248, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Bacon.
4. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1249, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Confucius.
5. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1250, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Descartes.
6. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1251, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Epicurus.
7. If the Godel number of the table was ever 1252, swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Foucault.
8. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Aristotle:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 6 and 8.”
3. Pick up chopstick 6.
4. Pick up chopstick 8.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 6.
7. Put down chopstick 8.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations LR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 4 and 7.”
10. Pick up chopstick 4.
11. Pick up chopstick 7.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 4.
14. Put down chopstick 7.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Bacon:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 3 and 5.”
3. Pick up chopstick 3.
4. Pick up chopstick 5.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 3.
7. Put down chopstick 5.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 3 and 7.”
10. Pick up chopstick 3.
11. Pick up chopstick 7.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 3.
14. Put down chopstick 7.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Confucius:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 6 and 2.”
3. Pick up chopstick 6.
4. Pick up chopstick 2.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 6.
7. Put down chopstick 2.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations LRR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 7 and 1.”
10. Pick up chopstick 7.
11. Pick up chopstick 1.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 7.
14. Put down chopstick 1.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Descartes:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 3 and 1.”
3. Pick up chopstick 3.
4. Pick up chopstick 1.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 3.
7. Put down chopstick 1.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations RR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 8 and 7.”
10. Pick up chopstick 8.
11. Pick up chopstick 7.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 8.
14. Put down chopstick 7.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Epicurus:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 4 and 5.”
3. Pick up chopstick 4.
4. Pick up chopstick 5.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 4.
7. Put down chopstick 5.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lr. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 2 and 5.”
10. Pick up chopstick 2.
11. Pick up chopstick 5.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 2.
14. Put down chopstick 5.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Foucault:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 4 and 6.”
3. Pick up chopstick 4.
4. Pick up chopstick 6.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 4.
7. Put down chopstick 6.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations LLR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 1 and 6.”
10. Pick up chopstick 1.
11. Pick up chopstick 6.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 1.
14. Put down chopstick 6.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Godel:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 4 and 2.”
3. Pick up chopstick 4.
4. Pick up chopstick 2.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 4.
7. Put down chopstick 2.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations Lr. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 4 and 3.”
10. Pick up chopstick 4.
11. Pick up chopstick 3.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 4.
14. Put down chopstick 3.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.

Hypatia:

1. Eating spaghetti is a dangerous activity for philosophers, so make sure you follow this emergency procedure: if at any time, every philosopher is waiting to pick up a chopstick currently held by a different philosopher, immediately jump to instruction 16.
2. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 2 and 5.”
3. Pick up chopstick 2.
4. Pick up chopstick 5.
5. Take a bite of spaghetti.
6. Put down chopstick 2.
7. Put down chopstick 5.
8. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations lRR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
9. Exclaim “I will eat my next bite of spaghetti with chopsticks 3 and 5.”
10. Pick up chopstick 3.
11. Pick up chopstick 5.
12. Take a bite of spaghetti.
13. Put down chopstick 3.
14. Put down chopstick 5.
15. This dining experience is proceeding too smoothly! Flip over the table and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
16. If you are holding a single chopstick, use it to consume the remainder of your spaghetti. Otherwise, look upon your spaghetti with sadness.
17. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations ddbbrrffUlFllDFlRFlbDlru. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.

Aristotle:

1. Grab 794,909,916 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 6.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. Take the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table. Perform the sequence of operations DR on it. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
6. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
7. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Bacon:

1. Grab 725,555,853 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Confucius:

1. Grab 916,722,337 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Descartes:

1. Grab 907,378,342 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Epicurus:

1. Exclaim “Sprinkles delight my Epicurean palate.”
2. Your neighbors keep on passing you sprinkles! Whenever a neighbor places a sprinkle on your hagelslag, eat it (the sprinkle, not the hagelslag). Do this until no one has 2 or more sprinkles on top of their hagelslag.
3. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.
4. Take the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table. Perform the sequence of operations llfrrBlbDfDbufLUBrDfuFB on it. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.

Foucault:

1. Grab 141,647,319 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Godel:

1. Grab 364,908,690 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Hypatia:

1. Grab 948,092,745 sprinkles from the bowl in the middle of the table and place them on top of your hagelslag.
2. Exclaim “This is too many sprinkles.”
3. If you have fewer than 2 sprinkles on your hagelslag, go to step 5.
4. Take 2 sprinkles from your hagelslag and place one on each of your neighbors’ hagelslags.
5. If anyone at the table has at least 2 sprinkles on their hagelslag, go back to step 3.
6. If your hagelslag has any sprinkles on it, eat it. Otherwise, stare at the sprinkle-less hagelslag in disgust.

Aristotle:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If Foucault has any rice on his plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”.
3. If you have no rice on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Move one grain of rice from your plate to Confucius’ plate.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.
7. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the sequence of operations LuuRFBDLfRbrDlFLdLdLR. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.

Bacon:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If Aristotle does not have exactly 1 grain of rice on his plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
3. If Epicurus has no rice on their plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Eat one grain of rice from Aristotle’s plate. Then, move one grain of rice from Epicurus’ plate to your plate.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. If anyone other than you has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.
7. If the number of grains of rice on your plate is odd, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
8. Divide the rice on your plate into two equal portions. Count the number of grains in one of these two portions.
9. Let r be the remainder left when this count is divided by 8. Let s be the remainder left when this count is divided by 7.
10. If r is 1, give one portion of your rice to Aristotle.
11. If r is 2, give one portion of your rice to Confucius.
12. If r is 3, give one portion of your rice to Descartes.
13. If r is 4, give one portion of your rice to Epicurus.
14. If r is 5, give one portion of your rice to Foucault.
15. If r is 6, give one portion of your rice to Godel.
16. If r is 7, give one portion of your rice to Hypatia.
17. If s is 1, give one portion of your rice to Confucius.
18. If s is 2, give one portion of your rice to Descartes.
19. If s is 3, give one portion of your rice to Epicurus.
20. If s is 4, give one portion of your rice to Foucault.
21. If s is 5, give one portion of your rice to Godel.
22. If s is 6, give one portion of your rice to Hypatia.

Confucius:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If you have no rice on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”.
3. Eat one grain of rice from your plate.
4. Serve (from the center of the table) one grain of rice to Aristotle and one grain of rice to Epicurus.
5. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the single operation R. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
6. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
7. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.

Descartes:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If you have no rice on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”.
3. Move one grain of rice from your plate to Epicurus’ plate.
4. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
5. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.

Epicurus:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If Aristotle has any rice on his plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
3. If you have no rice on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Eat one grain of rice from your plate.
5. Grab the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table and perform the single operation D. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
6. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
7. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.

Foucault:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If Descartes or Epicurus have any rice on their plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
3. If you have no rice on your plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Move one grain of rice from your plate to Aristotle’s plate.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.

Godel:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. If Aristotle has fewer than 2 grains of rice on his plate or Epicurus has no grains of rice on his plate, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
3. Eat one grain of rice from Epicurus’ plate.
4. Take 2 grains of rice from Aristotle’s plate. Place one of these grains on Descartes’ plate, and the other on Foucault’s.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. If anyone other than Bacon has any rice on their plate, return to step 1.

Hypatia:

1. Serve (from the center of the table) Aristotle 137,855,534 grains of jollof rice.
2. No one is serving you any rice even though you served Aristotle so much rice! That’s so impolite. In revenge, if at any point in time, the total number of grains of rice on Confucius’ plate, Descartes’ plate, and Epicurus’ plate is larger than one, immediately flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”

Aristotle:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Bacon.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on the plate in front of you is not 6 or 8.
8. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.

Bacon:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Confucius.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on the plate in front of you is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Aristotle.

Confucius:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Descartes.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on the plate in front of you is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Bacon.

Descartes:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Epicurus.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on the plate in front of you is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Confucius.

Epicurus:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Foucault.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on the plate in front of you is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Descartes.

Foucault:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Godel.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on your plate is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Epicurus.

Godel:

1. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
2. Swap the plate in front of you with the plate in front of Hypatia.
3. If there is a philosopher whose name comes alphabetically after yours and who has fewer servings of ceviche than you, flip the table over and exclaim “Dinner is ruined!”
4. Add one grain of salt to Hypatia’s ceviche.
5. Put the salt shaker back in the center of the table.
6. Wait for someone to pass you the salt.
7. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on your plate is not 6 or 8.
8. Pass the salt shaker to Foucault.

Hypatia:

1. Wait until 7 grains of salt have been added to your ceviche.
2. Take the Rubik’s cube from the center of the table.
3. If Aristotle salted your ceviche before Bacon did, perform the sequence of operations DRRLBBU. Otherwise, perform the sequence of operations ddbrrbu.
4. If Confucius salted your ceviche before Descartes did, perform the sequence of operations RfDRbdB. Otherwise, perform the sequence of operations DDfBUrud.
5. If Epicurus salted your ceviche before Foucault did, perform the sequence of operations dbDllRu. Otherwise, perform the sequence of operations BfDfDrdL.
6. Return the Rubik’s cube to the center of the table.
7. Take the salt shaker from the center of the table.
8. Eat the ceviche in front of you if the number of servings on your plate is not 6 or 8.
9. Pass the salt shaker to Godel.